I'm with you
by Cogito Ergo Sum
Summary: Rikku reflects on her anxiety as a teenager. She was once in love with a man and had to let go. Now she has to move on. Aurikku & GippalxRikku.


**A/N:** I do not own Final Fantasy X or Final Fantasy X-2. This story is merely fiction.

**Summary:** Rikku reflects on her anxiety as a teenager. Aurikku & GippalxRikku.

Please **Review**!

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**I don't know who you are but I'm with you**

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A young girl, barely 16 years old, sat out on the deck of a red airship. Its name was Celsius, probably called like that because the red flare of its flanks made it seem so hot. Yet the blonde girl wrapped her arms around her skinny features as she shivered. Her hair had grown longer. The braids had spread throughout her hair and she had definitely turned older. Her style had been slightly adjusted, showing more 'flesh.' She wore shorts similar to her old ones, a bikini and a shirt on top of them. She dreaded it, but Brother wouldn't let her go outside without the shirt. According to him, she wasn't old enough to put herself on display like that. Right, as if she would… For now, she had to follow his orders though, because he was taking care of her now that all her friends had gone back to their old lives.

Rikku yawned and stretched her legs, then folded them underneath her. She rested her head on her right hand as she stared into the depths endlessly. She had so much to think about now that the hustle and bustle of the post Sin battle was over. Things had finally settled down. At long last, she wasn't hunted by fans or crazed maniacs anymore.

Feeling calmed by the roaring sound of the airship flying and the sky surrounding her, she thought about her adventures. She used to come here a lot when she was feeling lonely or sad. It would calm her down and make her realise that life was good and not a waste of time. Teenage angst. She sighed and closed her eyes.

_I feel so confuzzled! _

…

She opened her eyes, stretched her legs and reached out, her hands nearly touching her toes. She looked to her left.

_Being at Djose Temple sure was fun. Brother introduced me to some new people… All was nice. Al Bhed's are so kind. Luckily we are accepted nowadays. Maybe… Just maybe… I made sure of that when I helped defeating Sin. People could see we weren't the bad asses we were made out to be! I'm just sad that it was too late for our 'Home…'_

She lay back. Her arms folded under her head.

_And then I met him… he sure is cute…He is on his way to becoming a wise leader and yet he's still so young! Gosh he's so young… He's…Only a year older. And that compared to the last one…_

She giggled.

_He's like me in some way. He enjoys teasing me._

She giggled once more as she remembered her first encounter.

_He was doing it right from the start. _

Her expression showed a soul at rest. Then in one split second, her face became grimaced and she turned on her side, her legs pulled up and her hands covering her face. It looked as if she was struggling to wake up from a bad dream. However, she was wide awake.

_Gippal… His name sounds funny and yet powerful. Is he what I'm looking for? Maybe he'll give me the love I need… Surely I'm not the adolescent girl I'm made out to be… Right? But then again… Maybe I am… I mean… There was that fling. That made me even more confuzzled than this! He was so old…_

She turned on her back once again. She frowned as she stared at the blue sky above her, without really seeing it.

_He was such a mystery person._

She giggled and reached up. Sitting in the lotus position she tried to mend the pieces of the puzzle.

_Perhaps… Maybe… That is what attracted me to him. _

She smiled and slowly became more relaxed.

_I had never really been in love before. I was only 15 years old. I only knew the brotherly love, you know? I had never been attracted to anyone before in my life! Tidus was a cutie but… He was so weird! When I first met him it was as if he had inhaled too much of Sin's toxic, it went to extremes! Of course I understand it now. And once I did understand it, he was already all fuzzled up about Yunie. Which was great! Poor Yunie… I really should go and look her up in Besaid! Life must be so dull there…_

She leaned back on her hands and crossed her legs.

_He was someone I could look up to. There was just something about him… Of course that is easily explained now. It's always when it's all done for when you figure it out. I guess that's just the basic meaning of life. It's not fair, but there's nothing I can do about it! I wonder if he ever guessed what was going on. Perhaps he did. How hard is it to miss that someone is totally drooling over you? Hehe, that's crazy. I remember the first time I saw him… I had already heard great things about him of course. I listened to bed time stories of his travels with Lord Braska. They were never dull. He was exactly as I had imagined. Just a… little older._

She smiled.

_He obviously knew I was Al Bhed. And when he looked into my eyes… Wow! I think they must have been greener than green! I was so happy when he found out and didn't tell. Wakka would have been so upset! I was happy that everyone accepted me so well. I guess I have to thank Tidus and Yunie for that. _

'_He' saved Yunie a couple of times. I'm so happy that we were able to spare her life. Then at the Farplane I respected 'his' wish of not entering. Somehow it seemed right, perfect really. And now that I know, it makes a lot more sense. I love memories, but that's all they are, memories. I told Tidus the same. As Tidus and the others went inside, I rather stayed with him. He was leaning back and I was standing opposite of him, feeling a little nervous. Trying to start up a conversation, I asked him if the others would come back soon. It was sort of a rhetorical question and first he observed me for a long time. I was so anxious! I tried to ask him another question. I asked him why he didn't want to go there. He went silent for a moment and then he laughed. I was surprised. He moved his weight and looked at me._

"_I have my reasons."_

_Those words made me shiver. He could speak in riddles endlessly. Of course I know now. And when I wanted to ask him more, the others suddenly emerged. _

_Then Lord Jyscal appeared... I was so scared! My heart ripped apart when I saw 'him' falling. I wanted to make it stop but… I didn't know how. He didn't seem to want anyone to see it either. The others were all focused on Jyscal… I wanted to scream! He was in pain and there was nothing I could do…_

Her face turned a little red. It looked like she was going to start crying, but she didn't. She wrapped her arms around her legs and buried her face in her knees. She looked sideways and frowned.

_I… I'm so confused. _

She fell on her back, completely stretched out.

_I… I thought I was in love._

_I was so young. Heck, I still am. I knew he could never be mine, you know? We were so different. He was a little stiffy! _

…

_I guess he… really is, huh… _

She frowned as tears appeared in her eyes. She closed them and let them flow. She covered her eyes and then got up. She ran up to the end of the airship and shouted in frustration.

"Why did you have to be dead?"

Only the sounds of the engines answered her question. The wind ruffled her hair. Tears were still streaming down her cheeks as she kicked the air in frustration. She burst out again.

"Why did you have to leave us?"

Sobbing, she held back a little bit.

"Why… Leave me…?"

Her head rested on her left shoulder as she tried to keep her grief inside. She kept her eyes closed with so much pressure that it hurt. A deep frown on her gentle face.

A blossom in winter.

_Why didn't he tell us? Did… Did we all know it all along? _

A sigh left her chest.

_And still… I could sense that you cared. You loved us. You loved every one of your friends. 'Cause that's what we were. Your friends. _

Slowly, she looked up. Her eyes were red and burning. Finally, she saw the sky again. A smile crossed her lips.

_Your friends._

_I loved you, Auron. _

_Now… We have to go on. I will never forget the people and the friends we have lost, or the dreams that have faded. Never! _

_Now… A new era is starting. New dreams have to be created. A life without dreams… I couldn't bear! You… You would wish the best for me, would you not? _

_I… I have created a new dream. But… Whatever I do… I will never forget._

She pressed her lips against her hand and then lifted her hand up in the air to send her kiss up to the skies.

_Never._


End file.
